


Learning to feel

by fifisukidesu



Series: where Woohyun bottoms [4]
Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Bodyguard!AU, M/M, Smut, Unbeta'd, butler!au, idontknowwhatimwriting, justsmutandsmutandsmut, master!au, prollydoesntevenmakesense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 02:25:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3470915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fifisukidesu/pseuds/fifisukidesu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which woohyun teaches howon that feelings and emotions aren't quite the weaknesses he'd imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning to feel

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on AFF and LJ.

When Howon applied for the job, freshly graduated from the Academy where he was trained to be a first-class bodyguard, he thought it would be an easy one, just babysitting daughters with extremely large trust funds while their daddies run around outside. What he did not expect was to step inside the humongous mansion and be told to wait in the foyer because young _master_ was showering. Howon's first thought was that if his charge was male, he should be fully capable of taking care of himself unless— And Howon's mind helpfully supplied images of crippled and sickly-looking boys and he shuddered.  
  
A clearing of throat snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see the butler who had let him in earlier standing at the other end of the foyer and holding the lovely oak door open.  
  
"The young master is ready to receive you now." And with the amount of respect and formality etched into the butler's voice, Howon wouldn't be surprised if the guy he is supposed to guard is part royalty.  
  
Howon nods and hesitantly made his way through the door to what is probably the living room but he isn’t sure if it could be called that since it looks as if it could fit two whole apartments in it. Despite the size, it was surprisingly cozy with a large fireplace to the right with heaps of fur rugs piled in front of it and a large television on the other side with more sofas than Howon thinks is necessary. Beyond the living room a passage branches out with doors lining each side and he wonders just how large this place actually is, set in a large rolling plain just outside of the city.  
  
“So, you must be Lee Howon?” A voice greets him and pulls his attention to the fireplace, which is not lit because it was summer, and he saw a male around his age, who was _not_ crippled and _not_ sickly-looking, leaning against the corner of the fireplace. He was wearing tight black jeans and a thin white graphic tee and Howon tries not to think about how well he fills out his clothes. He is being paid a handsome sum to be a professional bodyguard and professional is what he is going to be.  
  
“I—yes, I’m Howon and you are?” Howon stumbles over his words as he makes his way over to the male awkwardly, all the while holding his hand out.  
  
The other’s eyes trailed from his hand to his face and lingered there, as if assessing Howon before he smirked, holding out his hand for Howon to shake briefly before retracting it.  
  
“My name is Nam Woohyun, but you will address me as young master. Now, I suppose my dear father – or rather, his assistant – must have briefed you on your duties?” The male paused to watch Howon give a nod of acknowledgement before he continued. “Well then, I guess it is all settled. The butler will show you around while I will be in my room and you are not to disturb me, is that clear?”  
Howon nodded once in affirmation and the young master gave a slight smile before retreating up the stairs.  
  
-  
  
After the tour, when Howon is resting in his room (which is beside Woohyun’s because he is his bodyguard and he is to be by his side all the time except when Woohyun is in his own room because it is as secured as the government’s secret underground facility), he thinks back to what little information his has picked up from the butler about his charge.  
  
 _As they were walking by the door to the basement which houses an impressive collection of weaponry, the butler had stopped abruptly and turned to look at him, judgment in his eyes as he asked him how committed he is to this job._  
  
 _When Howon had answered with a confident “A hundred percent”, the butler had sighed as if in disappointment. “That is what the other twelve before you said, Howon-sshi. None of them lasted more than a week.”_  
  
 _Howon had been shocked, wondering what formidable enemies Woohyun’s father had made for trained bodyguards to not last even a week. The butler, having sensed where his thoughts were trailing, corrected him immediately._  
  
 _“The previous bodyguards are still very much alive… Just that young master, he doesn’t take kindly to the fact that his father deems it necessary that a bodyguard is with him at all times. So he, to put it bluntly, drives all of them away. Through what means, I am not privy to, or rather I am not allowed to share, but hopefully, you will be able to last longer. After all, you are lucky number thirteen.” With a wry grin of amusement, the butler turned on his heel and continued on the tour as if that conversation had never taken place. And Howon was smart enough to not question more._  
  
Howon was not sure how the young master would try to chase him away, but this sounds like a challenge to him and he is not going to back down. He’s trained far too long for this profession to let his first job sully his reputation before he even built one.  
  
-  
  
Woohyun was lounging on his four-poster king-sized bed thinking about Howon when the knock he was waiting for sounded.  
  
“Come in.”  
  
The door opened and his butler stepped in gracefully before closing the door with the barest of sounds.  
  
“Young master, I have done as you bided.”  
  
Woohyun’s lips curled up slightly; his butler is one of a kind, loyal to a fault and willing to do anything Woohyun asks of him, which is why he has worked here for over ten years ever since he was 15 and Woohyun had just turned 9. “What was his reaction then?”  
  
The butler smiled softly. “He hadn’t seemed fazed, young master. In fact, it would seem as if there was a fire in his eyes that had sparked.”  
  
Woohyun sighed in satisfaction, it’s been a long time since anyone with real passion for his profession has been hired by his father and Woohyun wonders if Howon would pass all his tests. “Thank you, Sunggyu. You may leave now, unless…” Woohyun grinned at the way his butler’s eyes trailed across his body laid out on the bed and spread his legs in an open invitation.  
  
“…You want a reward?” And his chuckles are lost in a flurry of smooth lips against his and slender hands branding his skin.  
  
-  
  
A soft rapping against the door woke Howon from a slumber he hadn’t realize he had slipped into. He opened the door to see a petite young girl standing outside who gave him a small smile and told him that dinner would be served in 10 minutes and if he would please get ready by then. Once Howon had nodded in agreement, she had turned on her heel and walked down the hall towards young master’s room, where she gave the door three sharp raps before turning around again to head back downstairs.  
  
Howon was about to shut the door to his room and get ready for dinner when the door to the young master’s room opened silently and the butler stepped out and closed the door behind him gently. He looks as he had before, sharp intelligence behind a calm demeanor, suit pressed and pristine, not a single thing out of place. Yet Howon could not shake off the feeling that something is a little different about him, though he doesn’t know what that is. Perhaps it has something to do with those sounds he’d heard earlier on but dismissed as just something of his imagination. The butler walked past his room and nodded at him with a small quirk of his lips before continuing on his path downstairs.  
  
Howon shoved all thoughts about the butler out of his head and shut his door, heading to the en suite to get ready for dinner like he should have moments ago.  
  
-  
  
When Howon descends the stairs to the dining area, the young master was already seated at the table and he too, like the butler, looks a little… _off_. It’s almost indiscernible (the way he seems a little more relaxed than before and there seemed to be a subtle glow emanating from the fullness of his cheeks) that Howon would have missed it if he wasn’t observing him.  
  
“Howon-sshi, why don’t you take a seat?” Howon startled, looking back to see the butler behind him, giving him a half-smile as he gestured to the dining table where the young master is looking at him in amusement and something else that Howon can’t place a finger on.  
  
If he was truly being honest with himself though, he would label it as _anticipation_.  
  
Dinner was a silent affair, with the young master at the head of the table, the butler to his right and Howon on his left. He’d expected questions, from either the young master or the butler, but figured that with the Nam family’s influence, they had probably already been privy to every detail of his life since the minute he was born. What he did not expect was the silent looks exchanged between the butler and the young master, unspoken conversations shared that suggest a bond strengthened with years of only having each other.  
  
And suddenly, Howon felt a flash of yearning in his gut. All his life, he’d only known the Academy, and there, they were trained to guard and protect, to not _feel_ because feelings and emotions are weaknesses. And now, seeing the butler and the young master share such a precious bond despite their stations, seeing how the young master doesn’t even need to move, just a tilt of his head and the butler is passing over the pepper, and Howon _wants_. He wants to _feel_ , to guard and protect because he _loves_ and not because of duty.  
  
When the young master asks if the food is not to his liking because he had barely touched his meal, Howon smiles, bright and fake, and says that no, the food is very delicious but he is just tired and that adjusting to his first job has left him with little appetite. He is part relieved and more than a little disappointed (he wants him to keep asking and pestering until Howon breaks and gives and tells him that the dinner looks unappetizing when he is partaking it in the presence of something that is as exquisitely breathtaking as he is) when the young master drops the matter and goes back to eating.  
  
He doesn’t miss the way the butler’s fingers brush lightly against the slim wrist of the young master as he reached for the pepper neither does he miss the twist in his gut because he imagines that it is himself who is allowed to touch the young master like that.  
  
He pushes the longing and desire to the back of his mind and stays at the dining table long after his plate has been cleared. Long after he hears two sets of footsteps go up the same flight of stairs and the sound of only one door clicking shut.  
  
Howon patrols the perimeter of the property once before he resides back in his room, a door away from where he really wants to be.  
  
But he ignores that fact and tries to sleep amid muffled moans.  
  
-  
  
Woohyun moans as the butler pushes into him, loving the way he fills him up so well, arching up to pull him in deeper because its not enough; its never enough until Sunggyu starts a rhythm, pulling out and pushing in a tad bit too slow but so, _so_ deep that it is satisfying enough for Woohyun to writhe and squirm and come in pulses between their bodies. And it’s even more satisfying to feel Sunggyu coming to the clenching of his oversensitive muscles around his shaft, feel warmth coating his walls and the gentle press of lips on his temple.  
  
Later, when Sunggyu has cleaned their skin of the sweat and sticky release, leaving behind only the dewy afterglow of their lovemaking, Woohyun considers the new bodyguard and wonders why he hadn’t started on scaring the guy off.  
  
The bed dips as Sunggyu takes his place beside him, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him until his back is flush against the broad chest of his butler and the other hand resting lightly on his hipbone. And Woohyun sighs, sinking into the embrace that speaks of everlasting warmth and an eternity together.  
  
“You’re thinking of him, aren’t you?”  
  
Sometimes, Sunggyu knows him _too_ well. “Yeah. He’s… _different_.”  
  
“I can tell.” Sunggyu shoots back, amusement lacing his tone, almost masking the tinge of jealousy that accompanies it but not quite. “You haven’t unleashed your horrible personality and impossible attitude on him yet.”  
  
Woohyun turned his head to look at Sunggyu. “You know my heart only belongs to you.”  
  
The latter softens at that and he placed a loving kiss on Woohyun’s forehead, just a chaste brush of lips on skin but lasts a lifetime in their memories.  
  
“Of course, of course.” He tightens his hold on Woohyun and surrenders to the heavy weight of his eyelids.  
  
-  
  
The next few weeks pass uneventfully. Woohyun has started working at the Nam Enterprises, learning the ropes of managing the multi-billion dollar corporation for his eventual takeover when he is of age. Howon accompanies him to the office, standing guard outside the door to his office and watching out for suspicious people.  
  
However, to say that he was able to keep his yearning under lock and key would be a lie. With every day that he spends with the young master, the desire to fall, to forgo his years of training and just _feel_ , builds and burns in his gut. (He wants to have the privilege of touching that smooth, pale skin, of kissing those plump lips, of holding him at night while he sleeps.) But he keeps himself in check, he suppresses the longing because he is afraid of what will happen if he lets go. He is afraid he cannot perform his duty because emotions will cloud his judgment and more than anything, he _needs_ the young master to be safe, needs it like he needs oxygen and so he holds back and he suppresses.  
  
-  
  
Woohyun has given up all plans to drive Howon away, not because he is admitting that he needs a bodyguard but because Howon has become a permanent fixture in his life in such a short time that he is sure he cannot bear it if Howon were to leave.  
  
He is not satisfied because he wants Howon to _be_ in his life but he has seen how much Howon is struggling with himself to keep to his duty and his commitment and knows he should not push. He wants to be more than a duty to Howon but he knows that Howon needs to realize on his own that it’s okay to let go because while feelings and emotions may seem like weaknesses, they also make you stronger than ever before.  
  
So he remains patient and waits for Howon to come to him.  
  
-  
  
It had been two months since Howon started working for the Nam family and already, they have settled into a familiar routine. In the morning, they would all have breakfast in the courtyard where Howon would take the time to memorize and store the image of the young master practically glowing in the halo created by the morning sun, gentle smile smoothing the sculpted planes of his face and try not to be affected that the smile is directed at the butler. Howon would then drive them to the office while the butler would attend to his duties in and about the mansion.  
  
Lunch is just the two of them and it is the time of the day Howon looks forward to the most. It’s when he learns about the young master, little by little, about his childhood, his family and _Sunggyu_ , about how he once dreamt of standing on stage, singing for the millions beyond the stage. And still, Howon holds on, holds onto his control and his duty and commitment until he snaps, one afternoon, because the tension has been building and coiling and its only a matter of time before he breaks but he’d held on because he was afraid. So very afraid.  
  
The young master had been telling him about a story he’d come across, a humorous one it would seem, and Howon watches his face light up with a pretty smile that curves his lips as he recounts the story. All of a sudden though, Howon no longer follows the story, lost between the lines as he sees stars twinkling in dark brown depths that somehow show him forever. He reaches over, finally letting his fingertips feel the smoothness of the young master’s jaw and he realized that he must have stopped his storytelling because it has gone very silent. So silent that Howon can hear his own breathing, unsteady pulls of air through his lungs, and his heart beating, hard and fast because he is so _scared_. But he steels himself and let his hand cup the curve of the young master’s cheek, pulling him closer and, almost reverently, presses his lips against those lips. They are everything he had fantasized about and more, _so much more_.  
  
Pulling away and opening eyes he hadn’t realized he’d closed, he took in the flushed cheeks, the twinkling eyes and the small satisfied smile that seemed to say, _finally_. His hand slipped to the young master’s wrist, gently pulling him out of his seat and leading him to the car.  
  
After they were both seated, Howon met the young master’s eyes through the rearview mirror and couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips at the promise etched in that dark gaze. “Where to, young master?”  
  
“Why don’t you decide? And please, call me Woohyun.”  
  
A flash of a cheeky smile and his pants seemed to shrink a size.  
  
-  
  
They were in a hotel room and Howon had Woohyun pressed gently into soft, cool sheets, kissing him slow and languid, tracing his tongue along the seam of his lips and waiting for Woohyun to allow him in. He maps the inside of Woohyun’s mouth with the tip of his tongue and swallows the moans that escape.  
  
Holding himself up with one hand so that he doesn’t crush Woohyun with his weight, Howon trails his other hand down the other’s slender body, feeling the hardness of hidden muscles and eventually, the softness of smooth pale skin when he rids Woohyun of his shirt. Howon continues to press his lips against Woohyun’s again and again, unable to get enough, feeling like he’s drowning and flying at the same time.  
  
He finally pulls away just enough to trail his lips along the defined jaw line and down the long line of Woohyun’s neck, stopping to suck on a collarbone, eliciting a gasp from swollen lips and staining the skin a beautiful purple. Howon continue trailing a path down Woohyun’s chest before stopping at a dusky peak. He closed his mouth around it and sucked, reveling in the graceful arch of Woohyun’s back and a strangled groan of his name that follows. He licks and sucks until the peak is a hard nub between his lips and there is a hand in his hair, fingers tangling in the strands, caught between pulling him off and holding him there. He pulls away and blows on the saliva-coated peak, feeling the shudder run through Woohyun’s body and into his own.  
  
Sitting up on his heels, Howon pulls off his shirt before leaning down to capture Woohyun’s lips again, muffling his groan at the feeling of skin on skin and feeling Woohyun’s hands run up and down the bare skin of his back. Unconsciously, he bucked his hips and hissed at the friction of their clothed erections brushing. Reaching down, he cupped Woohyun and pulled away so that the moan Woohyun releases is loud and clear and sends a shot of arousal to his dick.  
  
Howon moans at the sight Woohyun is presenting to him; back arched, cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded and dark with lust. He stroked Woohyun through the material of his slacks until the latter is panting and squirming under him, sweat beading his forehead as he pleaded with Howon with his eyes. Giving in, Howon makes quick work of the rest of their clothes before glancing at Woohyun hesitantly.  
  
“Do you…do you have—” Wordlessly, Woohyun gestured towards his slacks that were now heaped on the floor.  
  
Howon picked them up and fished around for the small bottle of lube before dropping the slacks and positioning himself between Woohyun’s spread thighs. His hands were shaking slightly as he uncapped the bottle of lube; it wasn’t as if he hadn’t had experience in this area before, but he was as nervous as if it was his first time because it’s _Woohyun_. Woohyun who is precious and important to him and he is scared that he will hurt him. A hand on his stills the shaking and he looks up to meet Woohyun’s gaze.  
  
“You will never hurt me. I _trust_ you.” That is all he’d needed to hear, and he manages to lube up three of his fingers without shaking.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he presses the first finger against Woohyun’s entrance, watching as it clenched around the tip of his finger before he pushed the entire digit into Woohyun, the moan it brings sending a shiver down his spine. It didn’t take long for Woohyun to start rolling his hips and pushing back against Howon’s finger and so Howon added a second. The third followed soon after and after a while, Howon had him gasping while grinding down on the three fingers rubbing against his walls. Howon deliberately avoided his prostate, enjoying the desperation flashing in Woohyun’s eyes.  
  
Once he deemed Woohyun ready, he pulled out his fingers and stroked himself, coating his dick with the excess lube before positioning the head at Woohyun’s entrance. Nudging against the rim, Howon took in the dark strands of hair fanned out on the pillow with cheeks flushed a pretty pink and he met Woohyun’s dark gaze and plunged in. Both of them cried out at the sensation and Howon eased in until he bottomed out. Running his fingers through Woohyun’s hair, he waited for him to adjust before pulling out and slamming back in, thrusting at a rhythm that had them both gasping at the slick slide of skin against skin.  
  
As his pace increased, Howon leaned down to seal Woohyun’s lips with his own, swallowing the moans and whimpers and returning them as groans of Woohyun’s name. Shifting slightly, he plunged in with increased vigor when Woohyun mewled and arched up into him, rolling his hips to meet his thrusts. He was close and his thrusts grew sloppier until he was barely pulling out, just shamelessly rutting against Woohyun’s prostate. Pulling away from Woohyun’s lips, he braced his hands on either side of Woohyun’s face and thrusted hard and fast, once, twice, thrice before he came with a shout of Woohyun’s name. Woohyun came, in spurts of milky white on his chest and abdomen to the feeling of Howon’s release coating his walls.  
  
Pulling out, Howon bent to press a sweet kiss onto Woohyun’s swollen lips, heart swelling at the lazy smile Woohyun shot him, because it was _finally_ directed at him.  
  
-  
  
Later in the evening, when they had made their way home, Howon doesn’t mind that Woohyun greets Sunggyu with a kiss on the cheek. He doesn’t mind that no matter what, Woohyun’s heart will always only belong to Sunggyu, because now he _feels_ and now Woohyun smiles at _him_ and that’s enough. So Howon will guard and protect Woohyun with his life because _he loves him_ and he will not ask for more than the afternoons they share because that is already more than anything he could have hoped for when he applied for this job, because Woohyun has taught him how love will only make him so much stronger than ever before.

-

**Author's Note:**

> hopefully someone actually enjoyed reading this...


End file.
